Celebration For One

Ahhhhh…..milestones. The dictionary defines a milestone as a significant event in the life, stage or development of a person. I never truly thought much of them, until I had a child. Now, everyone says, "oh….goody, a milestone!" every time something noteworthy happens. I don't know whether to be excited or frightened….do too many milestones indicate time moving too quickly? I waited my entire life to have a child. It's going SO fast! (and worth every last, little, incredibly beautiful drop.)

My daughter and I recently shared a large milestone; the end of our breastfeeding relationship. In actuality, it has only been one week. It is bittersweet. Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and go for it again, because I miss that deep connection. However, the amount of hugs I now receive from her, has probably quadrupled. She runs to me and lays the BIGGEST hugs on. We are missing that breastfeeding relationship and compensating with LOTS of hugs and kisses. I never knew life could be so sweet. She is a fountain of unending, unconditional love, and not just for me, but for most everyone she meets…especially women.

To mark this momentous occasion, I explained to my partner (her father) that I was GOING AWAY for awhile….(only three days, but mind you, three quiet, blissful, days….no baby, no hubby, no lists of "shoulds", no nagging feeling of guilt that I'm not doing something I should be doing….just QUIET.) He wasn't all that hip on the idea but he knew I needed it. I have spent the last 13 months of my life pretty much exhausted, a bit bitchy, and pretty reclusive. I never realized the toll pregnancy and breastfeeding would have on my mind and body, until I was in it. However, I would do it all over again in a second. I just didn't realize how selfless mothers truly are. My hormones have been wacky, I have been eating SO much food. It's like the hunger never stops. I felt that things would balance out a bit if we cut off the breastfeeding, not to mention her painful teeth. Although I had reservations, I just felt it was time. Some mothers would probably wince in horror at that statement. She stopped breastfeeding her daughter at 13 months? WHAT?????
Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again: NO ONE can tell you what is right for you and your child. Every relationship is different and unique.

So, I decided to give it a go, and create this milestone of ending the breastfeeding. I left for three days and went to enjoy some nice, quiet contemplation in wine country/hot spring territory. Generally, I find hiking/backpacking to a natural hotspring one of the most enjoyable things in life. However, this time, I decided I needed a hotel room, a piped in mineral water hot tub, masseuses nearby and some fabulous food (and some of the best wine on the planet.) After all, I deserved it.

I drove a couple hours south to Calistoga, California. I stayed in a nice room with a big screen TV (a treat for me, as I don't get TV.) I sat in a mud bath sucking every last little toxin out of my body, while, consequently thinking I might die from the heat. (I didn't.) I then received a fabulous massage from a 22-years-experienced massage therapist, complete with "facial." Pure heaven. I didn't enjoy any fabulous food that night, because I just kind of melted into bed. Guess what? I didn't have any interruptions. Just pure, un-adulterated sleep.

The next evening, I wanted to experience the best food Calistoga had to offer, so I made a reservation (for one) at Solbar….a restaurant at an incredibly posh resort called Solage. I figured paying upwards of $300 per room per night was a little over-the-top, but fine dining is worth every penny, so I went and had some dinner there. I was craving soup. I scanned the menu and saw nothing that resembled soup. When my darling server came around, I asked her if they had soup. "Well, of course, but it is a veloute'. See?….right here," and pointed to the soup listing. Funny thing, I had just made a chanterelle 'veloute' a few nights before and it didn't even register. It was a new term for me. It basically translates to "the most incredibly silky, creamy, and delicious french style soup that will ever go into your mouth." It takes time and is definitely a labor of love, but worth every last silky bite.

So I ordered the veloute'. It was quite possibly, the most delicious soup I had ever experienced. It was made with winter squash and sweet potato. Swirled on top was some scrumptious type of oil……a 'kurbiskernol'…..well, I have no idea what that even is. The oil swirled with toasted pumpkin seeds. When I got to the bottom of the bowl, there was some charming fuji apple-blackcurrant relish in the perfect sized little chunks to blend with the already perfect synergy of the rest of the dish. Oh my…….harmonious bliss.

I then went on to the next course…..scallops. These scallops were grilled with saffron butter (yes, saffron…another ingredient I have been playing around with in the kitchen lately.) Some delicious type of homemade sausage and accompanied with yukon gold potato gnocchi (another favorite of mine.)

But I didn't stop there. Being a Pinot Noir lover (due to the direct result of living in the perfect climate for Pinot Noir grapes)….I ordered a "flight" of Pinots. Basically, this is like a tasting tray of different pinots. There were three to taste in this particular flight. Each one tasted completely different from the other ones. It was like sampling drops of the Goddess incarnate. Before educating myself on what I was actually drinking (the different makes and models, so to speak) I chose a favorite. Of course! My favorite was a 2007 from Calera…at $120 per bottle. Again, I like to spoil myself sometimes, but $120 for a bottle is a little out of my budget, so I was just extremely grateful I could taste what a $120 bottle of Pinot tastes like. Simply divine.

But what's some pinot noir without chocolate? I settled on a valrhona chocolate marquise with salted almond creme anglaise. What the hell is that, you might ask? Well, basically it came out as a slice of dense, decadence-style mousse-y stuff in a 'loaf' of sorts. I alternated bites with sips and in a blissful state realized how happy I was sharing this milestone with no one but myself. I didn't have to speak (only to the server and busboy)…I didn't even have to think. I didn't have to worry about driving, because everyone walks everywhere in Calistoga. So, I was free to focus on the incoming sensory information cascading down on my tastebuds. It's amazing. I realize sometimes fine food needs to be eaten in silence. That way, your senses are amplified. How does the food taste? How does the food feel? How are the different herbs and spices and ingredients affecting my body? It's a whole different experience.

Mind you, this restaurant was not a place you would bring your child. To have your child being loud and throwing food on the floor…well, it probably wouldn't go over very well. This is precisely why I chose this place. I hadn't been able to go to a fine-dining establishment since my daughter was born. (I have definitely saved a lot of money on food this last year.)

If you are ever in Calistoga, you owe it to yourself to visit Solbar at Solage Resort. It was worth every penny and every delicious bite (and sip.) My celebration for one. Now I just had to go back to my room and enjoy the mineral water piped in hot tub and another night of blissful, un-adulterated sleep. Ahhhhhhh………………